It’s been nearly three years and just as many booster shots since the COVID pandemic turned the world upside down. As many businesses — at least those that made it through the global shutdown it caused — have spent the past year reopening and adjusting to life in a post-COVID world, some of us are desperately missing the days of working from home in the world’s most unflattering sweatpants and being able to scream “COVID exposure” as an excuse for pretty much anything. Saturday Night Live‘s writers feel you.
In what is bound to become an instant classic SNL moment, a fake pharma ad touted COVID as the newest cure-all. “Are you feeling tired and worn down?” the voiceover asks. “Sick of the endless grind at work? Exhausted by your family [and] desperate for some peace and quiet? Then ask your doctor about COVID.”
According to the hilariously dark bit, which perfectly encapsulates what so many of us are feeling at this very moment, some of the benefits of having COVID include a five- to 10-day “vacation from all of life’s problems.” Side effects, meanwhile, include “having COVID, which is still kinda bad, but doesn’t it just feel different now?” Indeed!
COVID is promoted as the perfect excuse for getting out of such painful activities as jury duty, your friend’s improv show, or your husband’s murder trial. “At this point, COVID is basically a 10-day cruise — which is also a great way to get it,” the narrator explains.
“I needed a break — just some time away from everyone,” explains one happy COVID-positive patient (Sarah Sherman). “So my doctor suggested I get COVID, and it was the greatest week of my life.”
“At first I was worried about getting COVID, but my doctor assured me it’s fine now,” adds another satisfied coronavirus survivor (Michael Longfellow). “I’m triple-vaxxed — quadruple if you count HPV. So it’s my time to shine.”
For an extra fee, you can also pay someone to knock out the Wi-Fi in your neighborhood, so no one can add you to one of those mandatory Zoom meetings. For patients who’d prefer all of the benefits of COVID with none of the brain fog, there’s the Always Positive COVID Home Test — “the only COVID test that comes with two pink lines already drawn on.” Making it easy and convenient to make any time COVID time.
You can watch the full commercial above.