Surprising almost no one except perhaps Kyrie Irving’s crisis PR team, Saturday Night Live voted tonight for the midterm election in its last cold open before Tuesday’s balloting.
“My fellow Americans, this Tuesday, our midterm election will determine the fate of our democracy and let’s just say Big Yikes!” proclaimed James Austin Johnson as President Joe Biden. “I guess the Democrats’ message just isn’t getting through,” the SNL cast featured player added in a mocking replication of POTUS’ big Union Station speech of earlier this week as polls show the Big Lie-dominated GOP looking to take back the House and maybe even the Senate.
“Folks, I’m trying like Hell, I promise,” the comedian went on to say as the sometimes disoriented 79-year-old Biden. “I’m on the Peloton every morning tempting fate.”
Following up on last week’s garloching of sorts of GOP candidates Herschel Walker, Kari Lake and Dr. Oz (played by Kenan Thompson, Cecily Strong and Mikey Day, respectively), tonight’s SNL laid into the communication problem, to put it lightly, Biden and the Dems have had for most of this campaign cycle. With a quick reference to some Republicans putting erotic undercurrents to the attack on Speaker Nancy Pelosi’s husband last week, Johnson’s Biden rolled out a list of triumphs that seem to have been forgotten in the MAGA rhetoric – as you can see in the video above.
On a day that saw the real Biden, Barack Obama, First Lady Dr. Jill Biden and Donald Trump out on the stump in eleventh-hour bids for votes, the SNL Biden took a swipe at the adulation the 44th POTUS still gets. “How do you think that makes me feel?”
“Do yourself a favor, Google ‘young Joe Biden,’ and start a bubble bath.”
Hosted by Amy Schumer, who is the first cousin once removed from Senate Majority Leader Chuck Schumer, and starring Steve Lacy as musical guest, the fifth show of the NBC late-nighter’s 48th season was a slow burn of a cold open, to put it politely. Set against the standard political backdrop literally and figuratively of the podium and a phalanx of American flags, Johnson’s one-man show eventually turned into a battle of the would-be Democratic stars.
Looking for more Herschel Walkers and fewer Raphael Warnocks, to paraphrase the thin gruel of a skit, the SNL Biden was soon surrounded by a litany of “last-minute changes” like 2020 candidate and self-described spiritual advisor Marianne Williamson, played by cast member Chloe Fineman. In quick and kind of pointless succession “Mayor of Flavortown” Guy Fieri, rapper Tekashi 6ix9ine for Ohio’s Senate seat, and this season’s MVP Strong as new Michigan gubernatorial candidate and ex-porn superstar Stormy Daniels followed.
“I may be a former adult star currently on Season 7 of The Surreal Life, but I’m willing to debase myself and enter US politics,” Strong’s Stormy said with a smile. “I’ll work with anyone, and I’m willing to reach around the aisle to get things done,” she added in one of the few funny lines of the cold open. “I think it’s reach across the aisle,” countered SNL Biden.
“Sure, you do you.”
By the time the Eastern Seaboard of energy known as Ego Nwodim came bounding on as new Florida Senate Azealia Banks next to befuddled Uncle Joe, the die was cast. Even Kenan Thomson doing a Tracy Morgan impersonation you never knew you needed couldn’t resuscitate the dead zone tonight’s cold open had become.
“You all want that money?” Thompson said as the 30 Rock star. “Why don’t you come over here and rub my belly.”
Next week’s SNL will see the return of Dave Chappelle as host, and recently reunited hip hop legends Black Star as musical guests, the show revealed tonight.